How to: Ask a guy out...

Middle School: 

Step 1) Get to know him! You might like the look of him, but find he's horrible! That's happened to me tons...

Step 2) After befriending him, ask to talk to him alone. Then, say how you like hanging out with them, and how you'd like to do that more. Then ask if he wants to start dating, not in a really romantic way, but just to see if you like each other. REMEMBER: NEVER ask him out with your friends watching. That'll just scare him off.

Step 3) If he says no, say "Ok, but we can still be friends". Never overreact, as that will prove his point. Remember, he might say no because he's embarrassed to have a girlfriend, or because he's not allowed to. Just be his friend, and, if you still like him, ask again in a few years.

High School:

Step 1) Get to know him! Nothing beats a good chat, and you might find some stuff you can use to make him like you (for instance, if he likes basketball, research basket ball. DON'T change who you are just to impress him though).

Step 2) Invite him round. Don't be to shy, but don't start randomly making out with him! You'll get a reputation. BUT: do say you like him, and want to go out. You can afford to be a bit forward, but let him decide without you saying all the reasons you would be a good girlfriend!

Step 3) Date him! Go somewhere you both like, and get to know each other. Or, just end up watching trash on the laptop for hours, cuddled on the sofa together. Whatever works.

College: 

Step 1) Ask around about him, and make it known that you're available. Get your friends to talk you up.

Step 2) Go to a party he's at, and corner him. Say hi, and ask him out simply and efficiantly. Then, pull him onto the dance floor, and enjoy yourself!

Step 3) Date! It's as simple as high school step 3!

What I'm thinking at this very moment...

Can you relate? (Btw, that is the stupidest saying, like E-V-A). But still, MangoHub is about to get REAL...

My shoulders hurt. I should get a massage. My mum got a massage today. But why. How do I know? Now my collarbone hurts. I should play temple run when I get home. Why aren't I home? Oh, yeah, holiday. Nice. Beach later. Head hurts. A lot. OWW! Mosquito. Or however you say that. Oh. Nose. Ear. CLOUD OF STUPID BUGS. RUN. REEEETRRRREEEEAAAAT! 

In case you were wondering, my face looks like it was attacked by millions of mosquitos. Maybe because it was. Anyhow, sorry for the short post. MangoHub, OUT!

The art of sass...

To be sassy, you've got to:

a) Look good. No ones going to take you seriously if you look terrible. No offence. 

b) Have an air of don't care! 

and

c) Be as rude as you want, but always keep it funny! And so, we're gonna share a few amazing sassy comebacks to help! 

#sqaudmangohub

Top 10 Pets...

You all gonna relate to this post. You, ya grandma, and yo great great great great cousin.

10) Iguana

Cool, cute and VERY DISGUSTING.

9) Llama

Who doesn't love our furry, mountainous friends? Even though they spit on us...

8)  Duck

Quack, quack, headache, headache

7)  Mouse

I mean, they're cute, but so small and loud, they would just be a nuisance.

6) Rabbit

Two words: POOP EVERYWHERE.

5) Monkey

Adorableness personified. Shame they're so expensive.

4) Gerbil

Chewy had a gerbil once. it was adorable and fluffy, but it died in a few months. And it was still a kid.

3) Cat

They are the best. Almost. Despite the fact the scratch your favourite sweater, and ruin a good carpet.

2) Dogs

Man's (or woman's. Not sexist) best friend. Fluffy, cuddly, supportive and everything you would want in a pet...

1) VIRTUAL DOG

All the fun and cuteness of a dog... without the mess! Oh, and check out MangoHub's new logo, at the bottom of the page. 

The 10 Stages of dating for High-School...

Yes, i do understand that marriage and a baby isn't usually something that would happen in high school, but who really cares??? (Also, DON'T GET PREGNANT IF YOU'RE UNDER 21 AND NOT IN A STABLE RELATIONSHIP. IT IS THE WORST THING YOU COULD DO).

Stage 1- Infatuation/Crush/Spotting across a nightclub while you're drunk and thinking he's hot.

This is when you first TRULY notice the person. Yes, you may have seen them a thousand times before, but does your metaphorical heart care? Noooo....

Stage 2- Dating

Finally, you get some alone time with that person. You dance all night, and wake up with a gigantic smile because finally, you can text them and it won't seem weird. Or, the other 90% of the time, you'll realise you actually HATE them, dump them cruelly, and find another rebound bae!

Stage 3- Hug/Kiss

Or, if you're on Tinder, a whole lot more (Not saying what more is, because of young viewers).

Stage 4- Attachment

Now, if you have passed the rocky first stages, you shall be here. You are literally JOINED AT THE HIP, and being without your VERY significant other is enough to make you break out in sweat, and go faint!

Stage 5- Previously mentioned more

If older, consult the very dirty part of your mind. If younger, i am talking about walking in the park. Nothing more. 

Stage 6- Moving in together

Yes, you care that much about said person, that you want to be bored by them for 24 hours a day. I don't see why, but that's just me.

Stage 7- Telling your parents

Now, most out their would say "What! But shouldn't you tell your parents at stage 2?", to which i say, No. This is how 70% do it, and who really cares about that honest and good 30%?

Stage 8- Marriage

Now, by now you shall be through most of high school, and are possibly thinking about marriage. Tbh, this bit is quite boring, so lets just skip it.

Stage 9- Baby

Aww, wickle cutems dat mwesses up your liwfe, and makes you sad. That is basically what babys are though.

Stage 10- Long term BOREDOM

Childcare. Mutual respect. No will they/won't they vibe. Lack of much interest. Age. Just some of the reasons love dies out, as fleeting and quick as a sparrow in spring.

And they all lived happily ever after...

Serious Topic 1- OCD

Hello. Now, just to warn you, when you pass go, you shall enter VERY SERIOUS territory. So, so that you can take it in, just for a few seconds, be very, very, intrinsically STUPID! 1.......2.............3..........................4............................5............................6......................aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnndddddddddddddd GO!

Today, i wanted to talk about OCD, and, more specifically, how people see it. Let me tell you what it's not: A) a neat quirk. B) Being a perfectionist or C) attention-seeking. Now, this is what it is: People who, through no fault of their own, cannot live with any lack of perfection. They will go crazy, have mental breakdowns, scrub their skin raw, just for that perfection. Now, i see a lot of people who say "Oh, i hate my work to be messy. I'm so OCD" or "I feel so OCD. I think I've got it, ya know?". Let me just say that NO IDIOTS! You don't understand what OCD is, or how horrible it is. You are using it to seem interesting and cool. You know whats not cool? Feeling like you're going to go mad because of a bit of pen on your work. Having a breakdown- all because a bit of mud is on your shirt. Not having a phone, because it's to 'dirty'. So, next time you hear someone say that, just say "Hey. OCD isn't a joke. People die because of it. Stop being stupid". You'll make the world a better place.

The Style Pages for Stereotypes... (Female edition)

Fear not lieblings, for we will be back with a Spring/Summer edition, but first, COFFEE! (JK, The stereotypes!) So, sit back, laugh away, and relax!

Popular-

Obviously the most recognised of all stereotypes, and the easiest. They all wear a simple uniform- Adidas. Adidas leggings with white stripes, Adidas jacket over black, tight crop top. Adidas Trainors. Anytime you see this, just know that they are POPULAR.

Geek-

Contrary to popular belief, Geeks are hard to spot. Look for- Young (as in 6-8 year old) looking clothes, glitter, and maybe a bit of #noclass! Unicorns, mismatched socks, and anything along that line is whats in in Geek world this year!

Goth-

Two words- All black. Also just look for a feeling of desperation to be noticed, and you should have a goth!

Hipster-

Smartphone. Overpriced coffee. Geek Glasses (hilariously never worn by geeks!). Tight Jeans/Leggings. Pendant. Devil-may-care attitude. Congrats, you just found a hipster.

Exams- What to expect...

Yes, indeed it is that time again. Exams. Now, if you are old and grey (no offence), then read this to have a good laugh at all us young folk, striving for A's and Top marks, and if you are young, unstable, and generally dying thanks to ExStr (Exam Stress), read on and we shall help!

1) They are never that hard... unless you haven't prepared!

Yes, it's cliche, but just listen on this one: YOU WILL DO BETTER IF YOU REVISE! Now, we aren't talking about stay-up-all-night revision, i'm talking about going over a few notes a day, reinvigorating your memory, and talking to people who've DONE the exam. Trust us. It works.

2) Wikipedia's for dummies- Quizlet it!

No, this post isn't sponsored (why would you think that? The mind Boggles!). Yes, Wikipedia is pathetic! Why? Well, maybe because RANDOM PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET CAN EDIT IT! Do you not see that? I mean, you stack the dishwasher THIS WAY. Not YOUR WAY. DUH. 

Sorry. I may have just had an argument about how you stack a dishwasher with the computer. We all do it, don't judge. Anyway, that put aside, yes, random strangers can edit it. DUH. So, i come bearing a good alternative. A) Teacher, (but only if you literally HAVE NO HOPE!), B) Notes, C) QUIZLET! Now, some may argue it is edited by random humans, but, the vital difference is A) It is in easy flashcard form, not dumb, MA-HOO-SIVE block's of text, and B) teachers are the editors. So much simpler than going to school and asking a judgy teacher what pathetic fallacy is (Its showing the mood of a scene through the weather. Obvi)!

3) If you have to write a text- Just do your best or cheat like us!

Please, do not be scandalised by this section. Cheating is the easiest way to get AMAZING grades (or a one-way trip to summer school. JK). But, don't just cheat; DESTROY. One of the best ways I do well in MFL (Modern foreign Languages) is bye memorising some google-translated text. Just type in something like "Hello. My name is <insert your name here>, and i am <insert age here> years old" along with whatever other crap the teachers want you to know so they can get their paycheck. 

4) Take a book. Yes, i'm not kidding. Exams are boring places.

Chances are, you're smart (like us) and you finish the test early, with about 20 minutes to go, and the only thing to do is contemplate your naval (google that). BUT! you can avoid that by taking a book. Fidget Spinner. Crossword. Revision for other exams. Thank us later.

5) Sit next to a friend, and watch your grades skyrocket.

Reasons for this- A) Friends may give you the answer(s) to any questions you don't know. Its up to you to trust their inner genius (which they probably have, considering they're in the same class as you, which is obvi the best one), and B) If you do that weird pair marking thingy, they will give you GREAT nay AMAZING marks.

There you go. Sorted. Every Little Helps, right Tesco's?